雾霾中的追寻——《我的独立消失在雾中》

我的自由被恐惧吞噬

我的良心被欲望遮蔽

我的痛苦被琐碎消耗

我的恐惧与生俱来

我的欲望芜杂肤浅

我的琐碎不值一提

我是盛世中的失败者

我是尘世中的迷惘者

我是安稳现世的不祥之兆

夏榆的文字庄重、沉郁。这本书与其说是一本小说,不如说是长篇纪实散文,小说故事只起到骨架的作用,骨肉是作者作为个人的生活体验和作为记者的记录,核心则是一种情感表达。表达了70年代至21世纪头10年国家、社会的变化,作为个人尊严、理想、良知、独立的如何保全、又付出了怎样的代价。当然,更多人以尊严、理想、良知、独立作为交易的筹码,有的换回了金钱和权力,但大部分人,那些矿工、女工、司机、洗浴城的姑娘只不过换来一些生存的最低饲料罢了。于是,在书中,我们看到失望和沦陷,挣扎和堕落,疯狂和麻木,作者的字里行间无不渗透出生而为人无边无际的痛苦。10年后——2018年了——几乎又过了10年,这样的现状更加触目惊心,已成沉疴。

作者借陆游和“我”表达了遍布人间的不公义与残酷,人世弥漫的痛苦与疾病;借唐卡姑娘之口追问上帝的缺席,追问痛苦与疾病的价值,追问一次次代价的意义。但读者没有看到答案。

上帝说,“上帝只加诸你能承受的苦难“。最后和开篇,作者都展示了这种直面生活的勇气——承受命运,活出人的独立和尊严。问题没有答案,但是至少我们勇敢面对。在这片土地、在这个历史轮回循环往复的国度,冲出虚无的迷雾,摆脱无力者的感伤,独立自由得按照自己的良知生活的人是英雄。这是一场勇敢者的游戏。

 

 

《雾霾中的追寻——《我的独立消失在雾中》》有904个想法

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